Point of No Return?

The below blog was posted May 16, 2007 on Yahoo. At this point my contractor assured me that all the expensive materials had been purchased. The ceiling beams were not cheap. I purchased all the windows and doors to keep from paying him overhead and save on the estimated $100 per square foot which included windows and doors.

Point of No Return ?

They put the center beam in place on my studio today. It is a milestone of sorts. So I took this photo when it was resting securely in the slots built for it. Later they got four of the eight side beams in place as another thunderstorm was closing in.

I have always said if food was just food I would be thin. But it is friendship, company, sensual experience, love, remembrance, celebration, and at times even grieving. I think the building of this studio is a lot like food. I figured once I had committed myself to it and designed it I just had to sit back and enjoy the journey, but it has been more like a roller coaster ride. Like one of the top ten in the nation. I love roller coasters but I also hate them in a strange way. At some point in the short 3 to 4 minute ride I always ask myself, "What am I doing here?"

The answer is having fun. You probably have to like being scared to death to understand that answer. Life would have been so simple and easy had I not decided to take this journey to consummate this decade long dream. And every step along the way there is that moment where I ask, "What am I doing here?"

Having fun being scared to death. It is taking money reserved for retirement but then its goal is to be able to provide me with an income in retirement. It will add to my one real asset - my house and make it more salable and easier to borrow money on, etc. I know all the logical financial and business reasons for my decision but all risk comes with some trepidation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I tell myself.

And out of the ether, through messages sent to me via blog comments and e-mail, even a corrupted joke that Yahoo deleted the picture from and left the caption the message has been keep on keeping on. Leap. Soar. Dream. Be. There are no guarantees in life. Live it while you can.

Today the apex of my dream was put in place. Wow!!! And that is all I have to say on the subject.